Planning a Funeral: Where to Begin

When a loved one passes away, families are often expected to make dozens of important decisions within 24 to 72 hours — all while processing profound grief. Understanding the process ahead of time, or having a clear guide to follow, can make an enormous difference during one of life's most difficult moments.

This guide walks through the key steps in chronological order so you know what to expect and when.

Step 1: Notify the Right People Immediately

In the first hours after a death, a few notifications are essential:

  • Call a funeral home — They will arrange for the body to be transported and held. You do not need to choose the final funeral home immediately if you're still comparing options.
  • Contact immediate family — Immediate family members should be told directly, by phone or in person, before any public announcements are made.
  • Notify the deceased's doctor or hospice provider — If the death occurred at home, a medical professional must certify the death and issue a death certificate.

Step 2: Locate Important Documents

Before meeting with a funeral director, try to gather:

  • The deceased's Social Security number
  • A valid government-issued ID
  • Any pre-arranged funeral plan or pre-need contract
  • A copy of their will or written burial wishes
  • Military discharge papers (Form DD-214), if applicable — this may qualify the family for burial benefits

Step 3: Choose a Funeral Home

If the deceased did not pre-select a funeral home, you'll need to choose one. Key factors to consider include:

  • Location: Proximity to where family members are gathering
  • Services offered: Not all funeral homes offer cremation, green burial, or religious-specific rites
  • Cost transparency: Under the FTC Funeral Rule, all funeral homes must provide an itemized price list upon request
  • Reviews and reputation: Ask trusted community members or clergy for recommendations

Step 4: Decide on Burial or Cremation

This is often the most significant decision. If the deceased left no written instructions, the family must reach a consensus. Both traditional burial and cremation are common choices, each with its own considerations for cost, religious tradition, and personal preference. (See our full Burial & Cremation guides for detailed comparisons.)

Step 5: Plan the Service

Work with the funeral director to choose the type of service:

  1. Traditional funeral service — Held at a funeral home, church, or other venue, typically with the body present
  2. Memorial service — Held without the body present, often more flexible in timing and location
  3. Graveside service — A shorter, intimate service held at the burial site
  4. Celebration of life — A less formal gathering focused on honoring the person's life

You'll also need to select readings, music, speakers, and any personal touches that reflect the deceased's life and values.

Step 6: Handle Practical Arrangements

In the days surrounding the service, don't overlook these important tasks:

  • Order multiple certified copies of the death certificate (you'll typically need 8–12 for legal and financial purposes)
  • Write and submit the obituary
  • Arrange transportation and accommodations for out-of-town family
  • Coordinate a reception or gathering after the service if desired
  • Notify banks, insurance companies, and government agencies of the death

Give Yourself Grace

No two funerals are the same, and there is no single "right" way to say goodbye. The goal is to honor the person who has died in a way that feels meaningful to those who loved them. Ask for help from family, friends, or your funeral director — you do not have to navigate this alone.